what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Shame is for Republicans.
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