hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
