I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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