Sry I called you an 8
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
