your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
