Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
