he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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