nut hugger
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
