i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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