I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
