You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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