We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
