Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
