i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
