I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
