She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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