help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
