He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
