i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
