chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
