Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
