we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
