why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
