Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's not a walk of shame if you run
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
