i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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