He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
