My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
whose parrot is this?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
