Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
