When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
