Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
