it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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