We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
