I have demons in me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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