if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
