Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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