It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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