I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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