I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
