Sponge bath it is.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
