is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
