I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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