i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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