I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
