I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
