Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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