Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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