whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
