isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
