That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
