I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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